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Mertle Edmonds the Third Winner/Cheer Up, Ash and Serena
(The next two days across the world after Morbucks was announced the winner of the second Golden Ticket, Kent made an updated report involving the contest) Kent: This, ladies and gentlemen, is the sign of our times…. The symbol of the havoc, the mad craze that’s sweeping the world today. Whatever corner of the globe we are in, whichever of the five continents we’re on, the great search for Wonka Bars containing the three remaining Golden Tickets continues. (Then it shows the whole world quickly trying to ship out more Wonka Bars and some candy store signs across the world reading “Temporally out of Wonka Bars”) Kent: (Voice-over) We’re now nearing the end of our forty-third day in the hunt for Golden Tickets, and everywhere, we’re beginning to see signs of anxiety. Every hour on the hour, new shipments are being sent to different points around the globe, but they’re just not moving fast enough. And as time passes, the men and women who seek them become more and more desperate. (In a computer lab in Los Angeles, California, a technician is presenting three men his computer) Technician: Gentlemen, I know how anxious you’ve all been during these last few days, but now I think I can safely say that your time and money have been well spent. We’re about to witness the greatest miracle of today’s machine age. Based on the revolutionary Computonian Law of Probability, this machine will tell us the precise location of the three remaining Golden Tickets. (He then pushes some buttons on the computer, and after he finished, the computer scanned the pushed buttons and after it made a ding, it ejected a card. The technician picked it up and read it) Technician: It says “I won’t tell. That would be cheating.” (The three men stared at the technician with uninterested looks, but the technician isn’t giving up yet that he begins pushing some buttons again) Technician: I am now telling the computer that, if it will tell me the correct answer, I will gladly share with it the grand prize. (After he finished, the computer scanned the pushed buttons again and after dinging again, another card is ejected. The technician picked it up and read it) Technician: It says “What would a computer do with a lifetime supply of chocolate?” (He chuckles nervously a bit as the three men just got calmly annoyed. Then the technician began to push the buttons again a little bit frantically, annoyed at the computer) Technician: (Calmly and impatiently) I am now telling the computer exactly what it can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate. (He then began pushing more buttons like crazy. The next day back in Munich, Ash, not wearing his new scarf now, Pikachu, and Serena are walking, doing their morning paper deliveries, when they see a small group of people gathered at a store window, watching on TV the news involving the contest. Ash, Pikachu, and Serena then joined in in watching it. On the screen, a reporter in Kahului, Hawaii is announcing a good news report, revealing a girl and her mother and aunt in the middle of a car-filled parking lot of a car dealership. The girl is a chubby white-skinned 8 year old girl with long curly red shoulder-length hair, dark brown eyes, and wearing light blue rimmed glasses that are too big for her eyes, a light green short-sleeved shirt, blue shorts, and light green flip-flop sandals, and she is chewing a piece of bubblegum with her mouth open in a rude way. She is Mertle Edmonds. The first woman has long curly red shoulder-length hair, dark brown eyes, pink lips, and wearing red rimmed glasses, a periwinkle tank top underneath a purple long-sleeved jacket with the sleeves rolled up, light green capris, a violet leather belt with a silver buckle, lavender starfish earrings, and flat purple shoes. She is Mrs. Edmonds, Mertle’s mother. And the last woman has short blonde hair, dark brown eyes, red lips, and wearing black rimmed glasses, a yellow short-sleeved collared shirt with green disc-like patterns, dark blue capris, black sandals, and teal earrings. She is Stacy Edmonds, Mertle’s aunt) Hawaiian reporter: (On-screen) And it can happen right here, too. Unbelievable as it sounds, right here in America’s small Pacific islands. Where even in the smallest town, the happiest of dreams can come true. Because, folks, here she is, Miss Mertle Edmonds, finder of Figment Wonka’s Golden Ticket number three, from Kahului, Hawaii. And with her, the proud mother and aunt; Mrs. Edmonds and Stacy Edmonds, a prominent local politician, a great civic leader, a philosopher…. (Then Stacy takes the microphone to make her announcement) Stacy: (On-screen) Hi, folks. Stacy Edmonds here, Square Deal Stacy to you, with all of today’s great giveaway bargains. The finest values you’ll get anywhere in the entire island and country of America. Now this little number right here’s a four-door Sedan…. (Then Mertle angrily, and rudely, snatched the microphone from Stacy to herself) Mertle: (On-screen) Come on, Aunt Stacy, they don’t want you! Hawaiian reporter: (On-screen, to Stacy) Thank you, ma’am. (On-screen, to Mertle) ''Mertle, would you care to say a few words to the nation. Mertle: (On-screen, to the Hawaiian reporter) Sure I will. ''(On-screen, to the camera) Here it is, Golden Ticket number three, and it’s all mine. (Ash, Pikachu, and Serena watched in disbelief silently, aghast at Mertle’s rude behavior) Hawaiian reporter: (On-screen) Tell us how it happened, Mertle. Mertle: (On-screen) Well, I’m a gum chewer normally. But when I heard about these Golden Ticket things of Figment Wonka’s, I laid off the gum and switched to candy bars instead. Now, of course, I’m right back on gum. I chew it all day except at mealtimes when I stick it behind my ear and bedtime when I stick it in a small clean glass box to keep it fresh. Mrs. Edmonds: (On-screen, scoldingly) Mertle…. Mertle: (On-screen, to Mrs. Edmonds) Cool it, Mom! (On-screen, to the camera, taking her chewed gum out smugly) Now this piece of gum here is the one that I’ve been chewing on for three months solid, and that’s a world record! It’s beaten the record held by that weird girl under the name Lilo Pelekai and her crummy dog. And were they mad. (She then puts her chewed gum back in her mouth and resumed chewing it) Mertle: (On-screen, mockingly) Hi, Weirdlo, how are ya, sweetie? (Stacy then accepted the microphone back and began her announcement again now that Mertle is done) Stacy: (On-screen) Let me just butt in here for a moment to say that if any of you folks watching are dissatisfied with your…. (At the same time during Stacy’s announcement and back in Munich after watching this, Ash, Pikachu, and Serena got calmly glum and resumed their paper route. Back in Kahului on TV, the mysterious bat, who was behind Mertle, wiping the cars clean with a towel, then came up to Mertle from behind and, again, began to silently whisper in her ear about something, and Mertle listened quietly as she continued to rudely chew away on her gum. Later at night still in Munich, at a local launderer, Delia, Grace, and Mr. Mime are working on the laundry in a huge tub of hot soapy water with a giant wooden laundry spoon. Then Ash, Pikachu, and Serena arrived, and upon noticing each other, they smiled softly and greeted each other) Delia: Hey, kids, what are you doing here? Ash: We’d thought if you, Grace, and Mimey are ready, we’d walk you home. Delia: I wish we were. Grace: But it looks like we’re gonna be here late tonight. Mr. Mime: (Nods in agreement) Mime. (Ash, Pikachu, and Serena then got disappointed) Serena: Oh, well, I guess we’ll be going then. (But before she, Ash, and Pikachu were gonna leave, Delia, Grace, and Mr. Mime spoke up, stopping them gently) Grace: Well, why don’t you stay for a minute? Ash and Serena: Really? Pikachu: (Calmly interested) Pika? Delia and Grace: Yes. Mr. Mime: (Agreeing) Mime. Delia: Pull up a pile of clothes and sit down. (Ash, Pikachu, and Serena then pulled a pile of clothes aside carefully and they sat down) Delia: Everything all right at school? Ash and Serena: Yep. Pikachu: (Agreeing) Pikachu. Delia: Good. Grace: Go on your newspaper route today? Serena: Just finished. Ash: And we were given a couple of free cookies from the bakery after dinner. Serena: And they were delicious as usual. Pikachu: (Agreeing) Pikachu. Grace: That’s good. (Then Ash, Pikachu, and Serena proceeded to explain about seeing the news involving Mertle finding the third Golden Ticket) Ash: There’s something we almost forgot to tell you. Delia and Grace: What? Ash: Some girl in Kahului, Hawaii found the third Golden Ticket today. Delia: Did she? Serena: And she was rude and snobby. Even rudely chewing her gum away like a cow. Grace: Well. (Ash, Pikachu, and Serena then stood up and walked up to the exit and then stopped) Ash and Serena: Well, we better get home now. Delia: Are you sure? Grace: Is that all? Mr. Mime: (Curiously) Mime? Ash: Well, we thought you’d like to know. Most people are interested. Serena: I know Ash, Pikachu, and I are interested. Pikachu: (Nods in agreement) Pika. Serena: And there are two Golden Tickets left. Ash: Pretty soon, just one more. Delia: I wonder who the lucky ones will be later. (Ash and Serena then slowly got sad) Ash: Well, in case you’re wondering if it’ll be me or Serena, it won’t be at all. Serena: And just in case you’re wondering, you can count us out. (Delia, Grace, Pikachu, and Mr. Mime immediately felt sorry for Ash and Serena that, while Mr. Mime continued to work, Delia and Grace went up to Ash, Pikachu, and Serena reassuringly) Grace: Ash, Serena…. There are a hundred billion people in the world, and only five of them will find those Golden Tickets. Even if you had a sack full of money, you probably wouldn’t find one. Delia: And after this contest is over, you both will be no different from the billions of others who didn’t find one. Serena: But we are different. Ash: We want it more than any of them. Delia: (Reassuringly) Ash, Serena, you’ll get your chance. Grace: (Reassuringly) One day, things will change soon. Pikachu: (Reassuringly) Pikachu. Ash: But when? Serena: When will they change soon? Grace: Probably when you both at least expect it. Delia: Indeed. (Delia and Grace then kissed Ash and Serena respectively on the cheek) Delia and Grace: See you later. Mr. Mime: (Waving “Goodbye” calmly) Mime. Ash and Serena: Bye. Pikachu: (Bidding “Goodbye”) Pika. (Then with that, Ash, Pikachu, and Serena walked out and walked home while Delia, Grace, and Mr. Mime watched. After Ash, Pikachu, and Serena are gone, Delia, Grace, and Mr. Mime went outside and, while Mr. Mime stood at the doorway silently, Delia and Grace sat on the stone step in front of the door and began singing. During the song, Ash, Pikachu, and Serena are walking slowly back home to their house, feeling calmly sad) Delia: You both get blue Like everyone Grace: But we and Grandpa Oak Can make your troubles go away Delia and Grace: Blow away There they go Delia: Cheer up, Ash and Serena Give us your smiles Grace: What happened to those smiles We used to know? Delia and Grace: Don’t you both know your grins Have always been our sunshine? Let that sunshine show Delia: Come on, Ash and Serena No need to frown Grace: Deep down you both know the world Is still your toys Delia and Grace: When the world gets heavy Never pitapat them Up and at ‘em, kids Grace: Someday Sweet as a song Ash and Serena’s lucky day Will come along Delia: ‘Till that day You’ve both gotta stay in strong, Ash and Serena Up on top Delia and Grace: Is right where you both belong Delia: Look up, Ash and Serena You’ll both see a star Grace: Just follow it And keep both your dreams in view Delia and Grace: Pretty soon the sky Is gonna clear up, Ash and Serena Cheer up, Ash and Serena Do Delia: Cheer up, Ash and Serena Grace: Just be glad Delia and Grace: You’re both you (After the song ended, Delia and Grace then got up calmly and went inside with Mr. Mime to resume their work) Coming up: After an announcement involving the fourth winner of the fourth Golden Ticket in the form of a certain goggle-wearing teenage boy who loves to watch TV, Ash and Serena, thanks to Oak, Delia, and Grace, try one last time to find the last Golden Ticket, but unfortunately, they didn’t get one. Then later on, the news involving the last winner of the last Golden Ticket will smash Ash and Serena’s dreams. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Parodies